Monday, April 6, 2015

Rochester vs. The Caribbean

After returning from a first ever cruise, I couldn't help but ask the question: can a frigid Rust Belt town like Rochester compare to a cruise ship and three Caribbean islands? Here is a breakdown of 20 offerings:

  1. Beaches. Comparing Rochester beaches to Caribbean beaches might be a bit pathologic, but the point is that Lake Ontario and the nearby Finger Lakes have beaches which at times are surprisingly serviceable.
  2. Rock Climbing. Yes, the cruise ship had rock climbing, and so does Rochester.
  3. Starbucks. Even though Rochester is so past the Second Wave of coffee, Rochesterians still have many Starbucks available. 
  4. Swimming Pools. Many indoor and outdoor pools dot the Rochester scene.
  5. Mini Golf. In addition to regular golf, Rochester does fine here.
  6. Obesity. Both Rochester and the cruise ship hold their own.
  7. Slow Internet. Even Time Warner and Frontier are faster than the ship's internet service.
  8. Spa. Rochester does quite well.  Here is an example.
  9. Weather. It is at times 80 degrees and sunny in Rochester, just not at the moment.
  10. Bad Cover Bands. There is no shortage in either location.
  11. Broadway Shows. Surprisingly the cruise had one.  Rochester has the Rochester Broadway Theatre League.
  12. Comedy Club. Rochester again holds its own.
  13. Ice Skating Rink. It's safe to say that Rochester has plenty of these.
  14. Casino. Rochester, Buffalo, and Syracuse have many such venues where secondhand smoke is readily available.
  15. Underpaid Labor. The cruise ship dominates this category.
  16. Caribbean Culture. Again, Rochester surprises with the Rochester West Indian Festival Organization and many Caribbean restaurants.
  17. Overpriced Purses. Rochester is no slouch.
  18. Butterfly Garden. Aside from being indoors, the butterfly garden in Rochester is quite comparable to that in St. Martin.
  19. Craft Cocktails. As with beer and coffee, Rochester is up on this trend.
  20. Work.  Rochester probably offers more options. 


  1. This is hilarious! A cruise ship can be like a "city" on the water. I prefer dry land to live on and Rochester tops a cruise ship for living.

  2. For number 17 this also fits: